Nun slut assassin massacre: Or, the Hitman Absolution level that broke me

I am well acquainted with the Hitman series. I’ve played Hitman 2, Contracts, and Blood Money all the way through and I just got Absolution because humble bundle — how can one go wrong, really.

I’ve been enjoying Absolution up to this point. Its dedication to multi-phase levels and objectives beyond “kill a single target and escape” definitely keep things spicy. Removing level maps and replacing them with the instinct system and a little compass that tracks 47’s relative distance to enemies and targets and their levels of alertness is just the right amount of information to make things fun while keeping things immersive.

Even the occasional level that’s 100% sneaking with no killing at all (the Terminus Hotel, the first half of the Dexter factory) is fun. They’re frustrating at times, but fun in a threading a needle kind of way. The addition of an overarching motivation for 47 to do what he does beyond “money” and “boredom” is also kind of great.

The lengths to which the old games would go to try to differentiate a series of marks from one another was a bit comical, because in the end, I just wanted to kill my target and get out of there. This time, 47 has some stake in making sure things go smoothly beyond professionalism and a will to survive to the next mission, so killing the targets is a lot more satisfying than merely checking off a box.

At least it was until the Attack of the Saints. The Saints, of course, being this group of lovely ladies:

  • The use of religious iconography here is disturbing to me, not because of any feeling that it’s sacrilegious but rather because it seems to go against the Hitman series’ previous use of Catholic symbolism. Agent 47 tries to redeem himself by joining a monastery between the events of 1 and 2. It represents his attempt at redemption. Earlier in the game, the level Rosewood juxtaposed the violence of a typical Hitman operation against the serene backdrop of a Catholic orphanage. It felt a bit mawkish but it was in line with the messaging in previous games: don’t leave innocent people in harm’s way, or they will be killed. The nun assassins don’t really seem to have any reason to be wearing their habits, other than visual appeal.
  • I’m all for an all-female hit squad. I’m also all for Agent 47 targeting women as well as men. The previous games’ fastidious efforts to avoid placing women on the list of people 47 was to kill was noteworthy and kind of dumb. Surely people pay for women to be killed as well? It’s just that killing women with guns in nun-themed bondage gear is kind of the opposite of what I want. These women aren’t interesting characters in their own right, nor do they really add anything to the narrative. They’re just obstacles in cleavage-baring outfits.
  • This level as a whole just feels like padding to me. There are seven Saints to kill (not 8, as there are in the picture). While there are other levels that have multiple targets (most notably, Shaving Lenny), those levels involved some degree of ingenuity. This is a straightforward “don’t get caught!” sneakfest with 7 targets you have to garrote in order to proceed. It feels lazy.

I’ll probably come back to the game because I apparently don’t have enough frustration in my life, but I think I’m done with it for now.


The World’s Oldest Crown 
The crown was discovered in a remote cave in the Judaean Desert near the Dead Sea in 1961 among hundreds of other objects from the period. Known as the ‘Nahal Mishar Hoard’, more than 400 objects were discovered by Pessah Bar-Adon and his fellow Israeli archaeologists in the cave which became known as the ‘Cave of the Treasure’. The ancient relic, which dates back to the Copper Age between 4000–3300 B.C., is shaped like a thick ring and features vultures and doors protruding from the top. It is believed the crown played a part in burial ceremonies for people of importance at the time. 
(source)

The World’s Oldest Crown

The crown was discovered in a remote cave in the Judaean Desert near the Dead Sea in 1961 among hundreds of other objects from the period. Known as the ‘Nahal Mishar Hoard’, more than 400 objects were discovered by Pessah Bar-Adon and his fellow Israeli archaeologists in the cave which became known as the ‘Cave of the Treasure’. The ancient relic, which dates back to the Copper Age between 4000–3300 B.C., is shaped like a thick ring and features vultures and doors protruding from the top. It is believed the crown played a part in burial ceremonies for people of importance at the time.

(source)

Should I go to Law School

For ex-pell-iiar-mus and anyone else who is thinking about going to law school:

Need to know if you’ll get into a given school with a GPA of X.XX and an LSAT of YYY? Take a look at Law School Numbers.

This was part of a much longer post over on the forums, but since you have to pay to register to see it, I thought a little repost was in order.

germannn:

illustrations of German words that cannot be anglicized word for word by Anjana Iyer
germannn:

illustrations of German words that cannot be anglicized word for word by Anjana Iyer
germannn:

illustrations of German words that cannot be anglicized word for word by Anjana Iyer
germannn:

illustrations of German words that cannot be anglicized word for word by Anjana Iyer

germannn:

illustrations of German words that cannot be anglicized word for word by Anjana Iyer

medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.
medic278:

noodlelifts:

the-girl-with-the-owlhat:

tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

This was the way art was meant to be interacted with. 

THE HORSE ONE

Children are on point with expressiveness.

neptunain:

heteronormativity is so weird like yesterday I was at my aunts beach house and some of her in-laws brought over this small baby. and the baby puts it’s hand on it’s brow to keep the sun out of it’s eyes and his father says “look at that! Leon is looking for girls!” Leon is eight months old I don’t think he knows what a girl is yet

obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

Just signed my written offer!

I’ve lived on less than the difference between what I will be making and what I made at my last job.

majorlykira:

I feel like this might be of some interest to certain people who follow me

OMG IT DOES

majorlykira:

I feel like this might be of some interest to certain people who follow me

OMG IT DOES

kiloblogster:

Going through the create a wrestler on Smackdown was always amazing because I would always make these really angry buff looking dudes and then I’d give them the female entrance animations.

kiloblogster:

Going through the create a wrestler on Smackdown was always amazing because I would always make these really angry buff looking dudes and then I’d give them the female entrance animations.

When Autocorrect changes a word you didn’t spell wrong…

brokenlimits:

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San Francisco.
Queer.
Not evil.

Posting Forecast: cute animals and lots of cats, sarcastic commentary, social justice warrior BS, fish and aquariums, hot guys, maps, sad feels.

I like: artsy indie games, beepy music, cooking, infographics, statistics, hatewatching TV shows, whiskey.

Media I like right now: Welcome to Night Vale, Reus, Civ V, Phonogram, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Sawbones

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